When One Day Never Comes:A Lesson From My Mother’s Life

Me with my mom at an R.E.M. concert in 2003

I have been thinking about what to share on this third day of The Ultimate Blog challenge. Reflecting on my previous two posts, it feels appropriate to talk about my mom and how her story impacted the person I have become and the mission I am on.

I will never forget the date May 4, 2007. On that morning I received a frantic phone call from one my sisters. An EMT found her number in our mom's cell phone and contacted her. Our mom had collapsed in a parking lot from a heart attack. I was in shock! I had just seen her the night before with my son Joseph (who was a little over a year old at the time). We lived near each other. I was walking in the neighborhood with Joseph and stopped by my mom's house to see if she was home to say a quick hello. She wasn't home, so we started to head back to our place. A few moments later I felt a strong inner nudge to go back and stop by again. When I turned around and headed back, I saw she was pulling into the driveway with my sister. Joseph ran up to my mom and gave her a big hug. We chatted for a few minutes and then wished each other a good night. I didn't realize this was going to be the last conversation I would have with her. My mom lay in the hospital unconscious for a few days, before passing away.

As I grappled with my shock and sadness, it hit me that my mom didn't accomplish a lot of the things she wanted to. For many years she would talk about "one day" accomplishing certain things. She would write out lists and plans each year, only to push them to the next year when they weren't achieved. "One day" didn't happen for her. This sat with me heavily for some time and was eventually a catalyst for me to take big action in my own life. (If you haven't read about that already, you can check out that blog post here.) I now refer to this as the one day trap and have incorporated it with my work in women's empowerment.

Me with my mom in 1982

Do you catch yourself falling in the one day trap? Here are some journal prompts that can help you break free from this pattern.

One Day Trap Journaling Prompts

Recognizing the One Day Trap

• In what ways have I been telling myself, “One day I’ll…”?

• What am I postponing that actually matters deeply to me?

• What fears come up when I imagine choosing myself right now, rather than waiting?

Connecting to Ancestral or Family Patterns

• Did I witness women in my life (like my mother or grandmothers) put their dreams or needs on hold?

• How did that impact them — emotionally, physically, spiritually?

• What part of me still believes I need to earn rest, joy, or nourishment?

Honoring Your Needs

• What are three needs I’ve been ignoring that are asking for my attention?

• What does my body or spirit need from me today?

• If I gave myself full permission to honor my needs, what would change in my life?

Becoming the Cycle-Breaker

• What is one story I inherited that I’m ready to release?

• What would it look like to live as the version of me who no longer waits for “one day”?

• If I could whisper one truth to the younger version of my mother (or the women who came before me), what would I say?

Moving Forward with Courage

• What is one small, brave action I can take today to stop waiting?

• How can I show up for myself this week in a way that honors my worth?

• What future version of me will thank me for the decision I’m making right now?

If you would like more support with this, I would love to help! Click here on my calendar to schedule a complimentary 1:1 conversation. If there isn't a time that works with your schedule, feel free to message me here so we can find another time that works.