When Actions Speak Louder: A Birthday Reflection on Growth and Boundaries

Today is day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I ended up not posting yesterday. It was my birthday and I was taking time for myself to relax and enjoy the day without putting pressure on myself.

Stepping into the new year and celebrating my birthday always leads to me being extra introspective. 2025 was a huge year of healing and growth for me. I have also been reflecting on previous chapters in my life as the version of me that I am now. Old versions of myself applauding who I have become, no longer people-pleasing and honoring my needs.

Reflecting on the lessons of my life, I felt compelled to share this nugget of wisdom: People show you who they REALLY are by how they behave, not by what they say. I have had friendships with people who would not act in ways a true friend would and then they would say the right things to lure me back in. Hurtful comments dressed up as "just joking". Ignoring my boundaries I had tactfully communicated or only reaching out when needing something. This would always leave me feeling hurt, confused, and frustrated. I would frequently second guess myself and try to focus on the positives and ignore my true feelings. After a lot of experience with this, I no longer justify the poor behavior of other people. I have learned that it is okay to walk away from toxic situations, instead of holding on to them hoping for the best.

If you can relate to this, here are some journal prompts that can help you process your feeling and set boundaries that need to be set.

• What signs have you ignored in the past because you wanted to see the good in someone?

  
  

• In your relationships, how do people’s actions make you feel—safe, valued, anxious, or confused?

  
  

• Are there times when you have focused more on what someone said rather than how they consistently behaved? What did that cost you emotionally?

  
  

• How do you typically respond when your needs or boundaries are not respected?

  
  

• What would honoring my true feelings look like right now, even if it feels uncomfortable?

  
  

What is a life lesson you have thought about lately? Please share in the comments below.

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Jennifer Shlomovich is a Plant-Powered Lifestyle-Educator on a mission to help others improve their health by eating more plants.. As the only vegan in her household, she knows firsthand how challenging it can be to stay true to your values when the people around you aren’t on the same path. For years, she put everyone else’s needs ahead of her own, but through her journey, she discovered the power of setting boundaries, living by her values, and confidently prioritizing her well-being. On her YouTube channel, The Confident Vegan, she shares inspiring interviews, practical tips, and empowering conversations about what it really means to live in alignment with your values. She is also the co-host of That Vegan Morning Show with Kimberly Winters of the Did You Bring The Hummus podcast.