Don’t Abandon Yourself to Keep Others Happy

Today is day four of The Ultimate Blog Challenge. This weekend I haven't had the time or the capacity to write the posts I had intended to write. I will write those and share them another time . I still wanted to show up today and post something of value.

I love the quote "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." by Janis Joplin. I discovered this quote a couple of months ago, while looking for a quote to put on the back of my new business cards.

This quote essentially means to not abandon yourslef to keep others happy.  It summarizes the work I am doing with alignment as well as my journey of being a recovering people-pleaser. You can learn more about this in a previous post here.

Do you struggle with self-abandonment? Here are some journal prompts that can help you break the cycle.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Where in my life am I compromising myself to keep someone else happy? What am I saying yes to when I really want to say no? What am I doing, avoiding, or tolerating because I’m afraid of disappointing someone?

2. What parts of myself have I been putting aside for the sake of other people? Consider your needs, feelings, values, boundaries, dreams, desires, or even your own voice. What might it look like to make space for those parts of yourself again?

3. What am I afraid might happen if I stop trying to make everyone else happy? What fear is underneath my people-pleasing? Am I afraid of rejection, conflict, judgment, disappointing someone, or not being liked?

4. What would choosing myself look like in this situation? If I trusted myself and honored what is true for me, what choice would I make? What boundary might I set, conversation might I have, or decision might I make?

5. What is one small step I can take today to stop abandoning myself and start living more in alignment with who I am? What can I do differently—even in a small way—that honors my needs, values, feelings, or desires?

What is one way you can show up for yourself this week? I told my husband that I didn't want to go out today, so I could focus on catching up with things I needed to catch up with. If I didn't get these things done, I would have a more stressful week. He understood and went out himself while I took care of what I needed to.

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Jennifer Shlomovich is as an Alignment Coach and Vegan Educator. She helps women move from self-abandonment to self-alignment by becoming more intentional about their choices. She is also the only vegan in her family and shares her journey about living differently from the people around her. She is also passionate about showing others just how delicious vegan food can be. To learn more visit https://www.theconfidentvegan.com/